Lately I've been in a mood. It lands somewhere between nostalgic and depressed. Spring time always does it to me. I am especially sensitive around mothers day because my mom died on a beautiful spring day four years ago. I suppose its grief that I am feeling. I really did not understand the nature of grief until I lost her. I don't know how it works for other people but for me its a tricky little bastard that always catches me off guard. I will be cooking or listening to the radio in my car and all of the sudden I remember that I can't call my mom and tell her about the new recipe I'm trying out or how the kids are driving me crazy. The hardest thing about losing someone is that weird feeling that somehow, they are still out in the world somewhere. So much of our lives go by in a blur with our beloveds on hold until we can make time for them. Then one day the moment is gone. Every time I think about that, it sucker punches me. I cant get over how someone can be here one day and the next not.
So I'm in a mood and I need to do something about it.
The books and movies I am recommending are not typically feel good ones. Most start with the characters in a rough place. They all end with them in a better place. I read somewhere that to change your state of mind, you should listen to music that matches what your feeling and then gradually shift your music selection to an upbeat one. I find this works for me when I am trying to distract myself with books or movies.
So here is my short list of movies and books that help me chase the blues away.
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Three Colors: Blue
https://amzn.to/2rMd1C8
This foreign film by the late director
Krzysztof Kieslowski is part of a trilogy
Red, White and Blue. Juliette Binoche plays Julie a woman who is trying to get her life together after a tragic accident. When she is overwhelmed by grief she hears thunderous music and the color blue is all she sees. The movie beautifully depicts her journey through heartache with music , color and minimal dialogue. It is a pure depiction of grief and how it can take over until you can not see or hear anything else.
The Babadook
https://amzn.to/2KuBK4V
When I watched this 2014 Australian horror film, I cried. Yes it is billed as a supernatural horror movie but as I was watching it I realized that the movie was really a metaphor for how "monstrous" depression can be and left unchecked it will not only take over your life but it will terrorize the people closest to you especially your children. I wont spoil it but I thought the way the writer and director resolved this movie was perfect.
Their Eyes Were Watching God
by Zora Neale Hurston
https://amzn.to/2wHF0HU
I read this book when I was 17 years old.
I have re-read this book or parts of it over and over since then. It is truly a woman's journey.
It explains so poetically what its like to be in an emotionally abusive relationship. How beautifully Janie Crawford, the protagonist rises up against oppression and monumental losses to start over. This book was written in 1937 but the theme of taking control of your own destiny is potently relevant in the wake of everything that is happening today.
The Shape of Water
https://amzn.to/2IlVo6y
On the outset this seems like a weird love story about a sea creature and a mute woman. She works in the lab where they have this fish creature held in captivity and by gently engaging it with music and boiled eggs she is able to form a genuine bond with him. For me this movie was about how the things that set you apart can also isolate you. Each of the characters in this movie is emotionally or socially jailed by what makes them different to the world around them. It defines what a lonely business it is to be a human being and how connection and friendship are sometimes the things most worth fighting for.
The Book Thief
By Markus Zusak
https://amzn.to/2k3la0J
I know this was made into a movie I saw it and I liked the movie. But this is a book that really has to be read to be appreciated. Markus Zusak does not just write words he paints them. If you have ever had a moment that you wish you could just stop and replay over and over, that second before your life went to shit, when every thing was beautiful and perfect even when it was not, you will be able to appreciate this book.
Amelie
https://amzn.to/2k6rJjf
This is the movie you watch when you have watched all the ones in the above list and read the books that will make you bawl your eyes out. Now your ready to turn that corner and begin to feel better. I included it because it reminds me of our culture of social media and visuals that we all want to see or aspire to be like. When you look at Amelie, she is a beautiful French girl who has friends and goes around doing good deeds for people. It is on closer inspection that you realize she suffers from crippling shyness. It is the shyness and social awkwardness that keep her on the periphery of life instead of the mainframe. I believe it reflects how perception, does not always reflect reality. Something we all can relate to. What makes her beautiful in the end is the courage to face her fears of rejection and reach outside of herself for a real life.
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